How to Manage Dating and Romances in the Workplace

We all saw the viral memes about the two co-workers who got “coldplayed” this month. Even when not in the news, the employer task of managing dating and romantic relationships in the workplace can be quite complicated to best ensure proper workplace conduct, make sure all employees are treated fairly, and monitor relationships between coworkers as well supervisors and subordinates. If an employer fails to properly monitor and manage workplace dating and relationships, the employer could open itself up to claims of discrimination, harassment and unfair treatment. Employers need to know how to evaluate the risks related to romantic relationships in the workplace, adopt proper policies to protect the employer's interests, and set parameters for dating and close personal relationships at work. By taking the following steps, employers can better protect their interests in maintaining a fair and professional workplace and decrease the chances of a lawsuit resulting from romantic relationships at work.

 

 

Employees who are dating or are involved in a close personal relationship present unique risks for employers and challenges for supervisors who manage them. First, there is the risk that the couple may engage in inappropriate behavior at work that makes other employees feel uncomfortable or embarrassed leading to a harassment claim against the employer. Further, after the relationship ends, the couple may engage in inappropriate workplace behavior such as shouting and fighting, which may disrupt the workplace and cause a hostile work environment. Additionally, conduct that was welcome during the course of the relationship may be considered unwelcome when the relationship ends, resulting in a sexual harassment claim.

 

 

Employers need to understand the dangers and unique issues that may arise if one of the employees in the relationship is a supervisor and the other is a subordinate as the employer may open itself up to claims of favoritism, preferential treatment and discrimination. Other employees may claim unfair treatment if the supervisor inappropriately favored the employee he or she was romantically involved with by accepting subpar work from them or giving them more preferred projects. Further, an employee could claim that he or she found the public displays of affection and romantic behavior between the supervisor and his paramour to be distracting and unprofessional workplace behavior.

 

On the other hand, after the relationship ends, the supervisor's now jilted lover may claim that the relationship was not consensual and that he or she was sexually harassed by the supervisor. In such a situation, the employer often ends up paying hefty legal bills to defend against the harassment claims. Similarly, a rejected lover may claim that the supervisor retaliated against him or her with a poor performance review and undesirable work assignments after the relationship ended.

 

 

In addition to implementing strict policies against discrimination, harassment and retaliation, an employer should consider implementing other policies such as a workplace dating policy and conflict of interest policy that will effectively protect the employer's interests. For example, an employer may choose to ban all interoffice dating or otherwise prohibit relationships between a supervisor and his or her subordinates. The policy may further require employees to notify their supervisors of the relationship and refrain from romantic and/or sexual behavior in the workplace as this could be potentially distracting to other employees. The policy should also set parameters and guidelines with respect to workplace relationships.

 

Further, an employer may want to consider adopting a conflicts of interest policy that will be communicated to all employees, which employees and supervisors will be expected to follow. This policy will put employees and supervisors on notice that they will be obligated to disclose any actual or potential conflict of interest that would adversely affect their judgment, objectivity or loyalty to the employer or to their work.

 

 

In addition to enacting EEO policies, workplace dating policies and conflict of interest policies, an employer can avoid potential problems and minimize liability by providing regular training to all employees and supervisors. The training should cover what is considered appropriate and inappropriate behavior for the workplace and provide employees with guidelines to follow. It should also communicate what kind of behavior is considered discriminatory, harassing and/or retaliatory. The employer should be sure to keep a record of the training in order to protect against any future lawsuits.

 

 

It is important for the employer to establish a multichannel complaint system and a way for employees to bring complaints of discrimination, harassment and retaliation. Such a system will provide employees with more than one individual to bring a complaint to and ensure that the employee feels comfortable notifying the employer of his or her concerns regarding unfair treatment or improper conduct. Further, it is critical for employers to immediately respond to any complaints of discrimination, harassment or retaliation and show that they take them seriously by following up with a thorough investigation. While the investigation is pending the employer should consider whether it is necessary to implement any interim measures. At the conclusion of the investigation, the employer should not hesitate to impose corrective action if needed.

 

 

To effectively manage employees who are dating, an employer may want to use a love contract, which is a document signed by employees involved in a romantic relationship setting parameters for their relationship with respect to the workplace. By signing the love contract, the employees agree that the romantic relationship is voluntary and consensual and that neither employee will sue the employer for sexual harassment. It reminds the employees of the employer's policies regarding harassment and discrimination and explains that, should the relationship end, any form of retaliation is prohibited. A love contract may also outline the employer's expectations of what is considered appropriate and inappropriate conduct for the workplace. It may also require that the employees submit any workplace disputes or problems caused by the relationship to arbitration.

 

 

Once an employer is aware of a romantic relationship either between two employees or between an employee and a supervisor, the employer should closely monitor the relationship. If a relationship develops between a supervisor and subordinate, the employer should meet with the couple regarding the relationship and determine if it is truly consensual. If it is not, the employer should investigate whether sexual harassment has occurred.

 

The employer may also want to consider transferring either the supervisor or subordinate so as to avoid a direct reporting relationship and a potential conflict of interest. Further, if two employees are dating, the employer may want to meet with them to explain that public displays of affection and flirting are inappropriate workplace conduct and to keep their romance out of work. The employer also may want to explore moving one of the employees to another division or department or physically separating them so there is a decreased chance of romantic behavior at work. Doing so will make coworkers feel more comfortable and likely increase the productivity of the involved employees as there will be less personal distractions.